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‘Not-enoughness’ syndrome – the modern illness.



Do you struggle with 'not-enoughness' syndrome? You know, not enough time, not enough sleep, not enough money, not enough energy, not enough luck, not enough this, not enough of that, not enough stuff, not enough whatever? This limited 'lack' mindset infiltrates the deepest and darkest corners of our psyche and often propels us to accumulate more 'stuff' in an effort to feel whole, to feel safe, to feel full, to feel (temporarily) satisfied.

Friendly reminder: another handbag, that designer watch, 20 pairs of sneakers, fifty shades of lip-gloss and the lastest iPhone aren't going to complete you, my dear. You are already perfect, you are already whole, you are already complete, you are already...E N O U G H.

One of the spiritual teachings to really strike a chord with me on this topic is ‘non-attachment’. It can be difficult, at first, to achieve but with practice can be a very freeing approach to life. Essentially it’s about not being invested in a particular outcome or end result; it’s about not being, well, attached to anything - including material possessions. In other words, going with the flow, trusting the process and enjoying the journey rather than fixating on the destination.


How does this relate to the overwhelmingly common feeling of not enoughness many of us experience, often subconsciously, my friend? Well it’s about trusting and believing, in the words of my fave self-love teacher, Louise Hay, that we are exactly where we are meant to be in this time-space sequence; we are already enough, we are already whole, we are already complete, we are exactly where we are meant to be on our journeys. We need to learn to reign in the 'shiny object syndrome' that often goes hand in hand with 'not enoughness syndrome' - ie. naively thinking that impulsive retail therapy is gonna save our days when the going gets tough.


Remember, most of us actually have MORE than enough - if only we could notice the real blessings in life, and detach from all the superfluous material items that we **think** will bring us everlasting happiness.

The real blessings in life are different for us all, perhaps it’s a fridge full of food; a roof over your head; enough money to live comfortably; feeling healthy, energised and grounded in your body; time spent with loved ones; playing with a pet; enjoying a delicious home-cooked meal with friends and family; quality time with your partner – all of these things don’t require stacks of money.

So, in our goal to stop acquiring more ‘stuff’, my partner and I have recently decided to prioritise experience-based gifts and memory-making for upcoming birthdays and special occasions; we would rather collect not things but MEMORIES. Because life is short and in our golden years we want to look back fondly on all the wonderful places and people we've met and experienced. Because after years of battling my own not-enoughness illusions and growing up in a very materialistic ethnic family, I am soooo deeply grateful for ALL the incredible blessings in my life. And, I am sure you'll agree, it's often the small and simple things in life that count. Like crispy clean fresh bed sheets. Mmmm.


It's time you started to believe in yourself, beautiful woman. Another shiny new object isn't the answer.


Bianca x


p.s. tell me, I’m curious, what experiences or memory-making are you looking forward to this year?

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