It is difficult to believe that almost a quarter of 2024 is already behind us (are you wondering, like me, where this year has gone?!). Clients and friends alike are telling me how busy they are, how rushed off their feet they feel, how little time they have to themselves to relax, to unwind, to just… BE. It’s no wonder we’re all. so. stressed.
Maybe you’re so under the pump that your new year’s resolutions are something of a distant memory? If this is the case, please know you’re not alone. Research by Forbes Health/One Poll(1) indicates that the average resolution lasts just 3.7 months – which is only a month away if you’re reading this March 2024. “Only 8% of respondents tend to stick with their goals for one month, while 22% last two months, 22% last three months and 13% last four months.”
There, hopefully that makes you feel better. But what I hope will make you feel even better, is my three top tips to keep calm and minimise stress so that you can truly embrace and relish everything this (new-ish) year has in store.
1. Be present
Many of us create unnecessary chaos and confusion in our lives because we either worry endlessly about the future – what if this, what if that, should I do this or should I do that – or we dwell in the past – berating ourselves for our choices, regretting certain actions, and plunging into the depths of despair. All of this ruminating takes us out of the present moment, and when this happens, we lose our power.
We can significantly lower our stress levels by anchoring ourselves in the present and connecting with our five senses. Think taking a moment to savour the sweet scent of your favourite flowers, savouring the magic of your morning cuppa, and enjoying the sweet melodies of birdsong while going for a walk without your phone.
These little acts of tuning into our environment takes us out of our heads and place us back in our bodies. And this is important as so many of us are rushing around like headless chooks, totally disconnected to ourselves, our intuition and our feelings.
When we slow down, we tune in to what’s really going on. We are more open to possibilities, opportunities and approach life proactively rather than reactively. In doing so, we become the driver of our life, not the passenger – we reclaim our power.
We are more apt at noticing the small things in life that over time can accumulate and lead to immense joy and gratitude (and, added bonus: it brings in more good to be grateful for since like attracts like!)
2. Simplify your life
Time is the most precious currency we have so therefore it would make sense that we want to guard it, protect it and nurture it. One way we can do this is to simplify things. This will invite a sense of spaciousness into your life and make room for the things that really matter.
Are you someone who hoards things? Do you have a ‘lack mentality’? Maybe, like me, you came from humble beginnings where your family kept everything even if it was illogical or impractical?
This can stem from unresolved trauma driving us to accumulate ‘stuff’ around us for protection. I say this because I recognise this pattern in my own family - particularly with my Grandma, Mum, Aunty and myself! We all seem to struggle parting ways with unused items such as clothes, homewares, linens etc. Perhaps, like me, you need to clear out your closet to physically invite more room and free-flowing energy into your life.
If your life is feeling full to the brim right now, a quick fix is to clear up space on your devices. Do you really need hundreds of apps on your phone - most of which you probably don’t use and take up too much space? Can you tidy up your computer desktop and delete all those old files that you no longer use?
Are you someone that has three fitness memberships like I do (gym, pilates, Zumba)?! I realised that I spend so much time each Sunday planning my workouts for the following week, because of all the options. This awareness gave me the ability to question my behaviours and make small tweaks to claim back more time. Now, I’m more productive and committed to my fitness regime when I have less options and can therefore be more decisive about the physical activity I pursue each day.
3. Minimise screen time
I recently found out that the average human being spends about 17 years of their life looking at a screen(2). I was disturbed. I am not ok with this and you shouldn’t be either. We are not placed here on earth school to waste and wish our lives away looking at everyone else’s lives 24/7, scrolling aimlessly all day long, constantly wanting this and that and feeling that our lives are incomplete until we get the new toy, bag, car, insert shiny new object. That isn’t living.
Many people’s version of relaxing is scrolling their socials in bed before they go to sleep. This is concerning as we know the data shows that rather than relax us, being on our phones and social media in particular, stresses us out(3)! Why you ask? Well, first, there’s the ‘comparisonitis’ as fellow health coach Melissa Ambrosini so aptly coined the term – a phenomenon that occurs when we spend copious amounts of time obsessed with everyone else’s perfectly curated lives on social media, comparing ourselves and feeling less than, worse off, inferior etc. Secondly, ‘out of sight, out of mind’ – as the famous saying goes, with everything on social media flashed into our faces all day long, it’s easy to feel FOMO or that you’re somehow behind, left out, not good enough, and generally worse than before you started scrolling. That’s why I believe if it’s out of sight then those negative thoughts will be out of your head and therefore, you’ll be in a more positive, joyful and grateful state of mind.
I recommend my clients who struggle with anxiety, sleeplessness, depression, burnout etc to pop all devices away at least ONE hour before bed. That means if you fall asleep at 11pm, your devices must be off and out of the bedroom by 10pm. This allows the mind to slow down, and you can process any stressors with more parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) activating practices such as journaling, meditation, breathwork, yoga nidra or light reading.
I hope these tips resonate and help you to invite more calm into your life.
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